Marc called me this morning and announced that not only had he been cruising around in his wheelchair this morning but that he also shaved by himself in the bathroom mirror. More small victories!
When I got to the hospital for visiting hours, he was back in bed and quite tired. He decided that he’d rather wait for visiting hours to get into the wheelchair, rather than tire himself out before we get there to see him. His room is cramped and he thinks it would be nice to visit in the atrium instead.
I had printed off some sentences about life around the house this morning. I wrote that I had baked banana bread so I could take him a piece. I told him what the dog had been doing that morning and a few other things that he might find interesting. I cut a strip off of a yellow file folder and brought that along as well. I figured since he didn’t have O.T. on the weekends, we could still practice correcting his left neglect.
I did what the occupational therapy assistant did and used the yellow file folder strip as his left margin so it was easy to find. He did really well and the sentences ended up being a conversation starter. We talked about how much he misses our dog, Ceilidh and just simply being home.
The rest of our talk before other visitors started to arrive ended up going over old territory. Finances. Getting better. Getting home. How he is progressing. He seems to need constant reassurance that everything is going to be okay.
Marc also told me that he’d woken up continuously in the early morning hours and would turn on the light to look at the clock. We talked a lot about that. He said it was keeping him up but that he couldn’t stop worrying about what time it was and how much longer he had to sleep.
He wanted to talk to Ashley, who was luckily on her way in to see him. He wanted some tips on what to do to stop being so anxious about these things and tips on obsessive compulsive disorder, which he is wondering if he has. Ashley is planning to go back to school for counselling and Marc values her opinion in this area. So do I and I was happy to have her help. I’m great at helping with physio and O.T., but this is definitely up Ashley’s alley.
After a good talk, we decided that we should look into this. The anxiety can’t be good for his stress levels and stress is the last thing he needs. Marc has always been a “do it yesterday” kind of guy and he tries to tackle everything himself. Now that he’s in bed and not able to do all the things he would normally do, it’s really bothering him. I’m not sure how much of this has to do with the stroke, but at least it’s something we can explore.
I talked to the nurse about it and they are going to look into getting him some help for it. All I want is for him to have some relief from worry.
He has a long road ahead of him and the smoother we can make the journey, the better.
Sandy, just thinking here. I'm sure you guys have already been tap dancing around these topics, given the support you are getting from various sources. Still...
ReplyDeleteIf Marc is a do-it-yesterday kind of guy, this may actually be the best opportunity he has to learn to let go (surrender). It's a forced way to discipline himself to prioritize what has to be done by him, what can be done by others, delegate and ask for help.
Marc's situation is such that he is forcibly removed from making certain choices, or doing certain things. I wonder if he will naturally come around to a shift in thinking (and feeling) of what is a priority and what isn't.
It's a lot to process all at the same time, physically, emotionally and intellectually. For you as well as for Marc.
I continue to hold your hearts close. Looking forward to more good news in the next few days.
(((HUGS)))
That's what we're working on with him, Lynn Marie. He knows he needs to let go and let me (and others) take over, but his mind seems to be rebelling against that. We talk about that daily. He said yesterday that he's going to come out of this a better person, so I know he wants to let go. We'll keep working with him to help get him there. :)
ReplyDeleteI am amazed at the resiliency of the human spirit. You both are being majorly challenged by this health event. Yet, with your feet firmly planted in the necessities of the present, you look forward. You embody such hope.
ReplyDeleteWhat an inspiration!