Sunday, January 6, 2013 - Newfound Hope

I met an angel today. 

Her name is Jean Oostrom and she has a website at www.newbrainliving.com.  Jean suffered a stroke in 1997 and started New Brain Living after experiencing her own frustration with lack of answers during her recovery.  Her website is a wealth of information for those with brain injuries and those who care for them. 

Marc’s mom and dad know Jean from their church and just happened to get into a conversation about Marc after Christmas.  She gave them her business card but most of all, she offered them hope.  She knew the worry they were experiencing and told them, “He will get better.”  Jean is living proof. 

I looked at Jean’s site one night last week and emailed her to thank her for the information.  She started following Marc’s blog and we’ve been emailing back and forth since. 

Last Friday Jean suggested we meet for coffee this weekend and I have to admit I was less than enthusiastic at the time.  I counted up the hours I had to myself to get things done at home that needed doing between hospital visits and found those hours sorely lacking.  How could I possibly fit in a visit with someone?  What about the snow in my driveway?  What about my dirty floors? 

I agreed to meet Jean on Sunday morning at a local Tim Horton’s but I inwardly resolved that it would have to be a short visit.  Half an hour at the max. 

Two hours later we parted company. 

I went home feeling such a sense of relief.   Jean knows all about the anxiety, OCD and repeating of information that Marc is experiencing.  She has lived it and was therefore able to give me her insight and tips for how to handle it. 

My fear had been that Jean would judge me.  That she would say, “You just don’t understand and you’re making it worse for him.”  That was my own fear.  That I was somehow going to further hurt this man I love.

What she did instead was encourage me to go with my instincts. I described what I had been doing to try and handle it; what had worked and what hadn’t.  I discovered I was correct in my worry that this anxiety and repeating of information, or looping, as I call it, could be detrimental to his recovery.  Jean told me to keep doing what I was doing and I’d eventually find the key to what works to help Marc.      

Jean gave me newfound hope that I can handle this and for that I thank her. 

I felt more at ease this afternoon during my visit with Marc.  I was able to tackle the anxiety and  “looping” with more confidence and understanding.  I haven’t found the magic answer to it yet, but I will. 

In the meantime Marc continues to progress and re-learn at an astounding rate, causing me to marvel at what an incredible organ the brain is. 

Marc told me and his afternoon visitors that he had peeled a banana by himself for the first time today.  He opened a wrapped sandwich for the first time.  Things that seem so small but to someone who has suffered a stroke, those “firsts” are huge achievements toward independence.

Every day is full of firsts for Marc.  Thanks to Jean, I feel better prepared to face them with him.